It's All About Perception

(This was e-mailed to me by a friend. Some expletives have been filtered to make it appropriate for this blog.)

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, 'SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.' ?

WELL, MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL 'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE. 'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED. HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS! ' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD HEADED, WRINKLED, FAT, GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT S.O.B. ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'